Heartfelt feelings of a broken heart

i read a book on love
              tears flow from my  eyes
i get drenched with salty water
              even the night does not spare me
              and sleep does not dawn on me
whenever i see a happy pair
              i remember what i lost
              and what i try to forbid myself from here on
i seem to b easygoing with things
              but am sensual at heart
              my heart cries with no tears all d while
playing 2 characters in and out
              am piercing myself into pieces
              can d time cum to my rescue fading my memories
and the book ended on a happy note
               i had a brief smile
               and my heart filed with joy
wen i try to drift into darkness under covers
               my heart pours out all d hidden tears
don't wanna bank on other' shoulders
               just need to tell sum1
               and u r the victim
but donno where to begin
               what to tell
                and no idea of the end
so.......just shedding as i cant and don't have desire to steer